Trying to Understand the World

2009-08-02T11:35:00.001-07:00

I feel humbled. For the last four months I have been working on the case from hell. I am finally typing it up this weekend (yes - I am working on a Sunday) and as I reread all my notes I feel sad that I wasn't more compassionate toward the family. It's amazing how constant conflict can erode one's ability to listen to suffering. I pray - as I sit here waiting for my blue berry muffins - that my

2009-07-03T10:27:00.001-07:00

Have spent the morning reading old journals. It's hard not to think one might be a bit nutty when reading one's old journals. Although interesting to read how one has changed.It's kinda fun to refer to oneself as one.

2009-07-03T01:16:00.000-07:00

Every time I decide I want to read a book I feel compelled to look up the negative reviews on Amazon. It's become a bit of a compulsion. I have been talked out of reading many books.

2009-06-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

Read posts below:I have reached the last chapter titled "The Final Weeks". As I read I become more anxious. I don't want Pres. Lincoln to die! Lincoln's second vice-president - Andrew Johnson - was a nuts and should never never have been president. He would not have been nominated had people known that Lincoln was going to die. I watched a documentary recently about Andrew Johnson and the

2009-06-28T07:01:00.001-07:00

Just had an odd thought...the song "Father Abraham had many sons" (a sunday school classic)...could it be about Abraham Lincoln rather than Abraham of biblical origins? During the Civil War the troops (on both sides) called the Pres - Father Abraham.

2009-06-06T09:53:00.001-07:00

Must read previous post to understand this one:I have now reached the Civil War and I am crying. I am on the edge of my seat as Goodwin describes those first few days when Washington was cut off from the rest of the North. I feel the anxiety of family and friends as they part ways to defend their home state and face off against one another. For me - I am reminded that war should never be taken

2009-06-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading Doris Kearns Goodwin's - Team of Rivals - about the political genius of Lincoln. Goodwin makes Lincoln and his contemporaries come to life. With great detail she describes life, relationships, politics, social issues and other important factors that played a role in the eventual Civil War. Goodwin is so great with description that on at least three occasions I forgot that

2009-04-12T17:47:00.000-07:00

I find myself at war. At times I am overwhelmed with emotion and I can feel faith growing in my heart. Then I remember that faith is not able to overcome the intectually honest conclusions I've made within myself. Eventually my thoughts beat out my feelings.

attachment disordered?

2009-03-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Several thoughts are running through my head on this lovely Wednesday evening. I am waiting for the Lost to start. I am writing from my new blue sitting room. We emptied the spare bedroom and painted it a bright blue. We then added an even brighter blue couch. Hence the name: the Blue Room.I've been thinking about touch. I don't really like to be touched. In general I try to avoid it. My mom

update

2009-02-16T21:17:00.000-08:00

It's been a few weeks since Kathy's surgery and she's doing much better. She is definitely eating more. She hasn't been weighed, but she seems to weigh more when we pick her up. Also, Kathy has more energy. My hope is that she is well on her way to recovery. Thanks for all the good thoughts on my last post!

kathy

2009-01-27T06:06:00.000-08:00

Kathy is a great cat. We adopted her about two years ago from the Cat Adoption Team (CAT). She had been up for adoption for quite awhile, having come into the shelter as a stray. I don't know why she wasn't adopted. I suspect it's because she's meek and didn't stand out amongst the many gregarious cats. I'm Kathy was still there when we searched for a kitty. She's cute and sweet. I love how she

2008-11-30T19:45:00.000-08:00

There is a conspiracy a foot. It seems that everywhere there are songs, videos or conversations with friends that make me want to cry. I sit here crying right now as I listen to a song about a little boy who buys his dying mother a pair of shoes on Christmas Eve.I recently mentioned the swing in my emotions to some coworkers. It was suggested that this is due to pregnancy. I assure all readers of

thank you Mr. Russert

2008-06-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

Tim Russert died today. I feel very sad that journalism has lost one it's greatest minds. His coverage of polictics and Washington and informed millions. We will miss him during this election season.

a delegate in the family!!

2008-06-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

So my Uncle Robert will be a delegate from Washington State to the Republican National Convention.In an email to him I wrote:I heard that you are a delegate to the Republican National Convention. I am really excited for you! Dad sent us a link to the Columbia Basin Herald. I could only be more proud if it was the Democratic National Convention. ; ) I had no idea that you were even in the running

i was wrong...it could get so much worse...but i now feel better

2008-04-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

I have complained about work before, but nothing compares to the last two weeks. I worked 14 days straight. Between last Saturday and this Friday I worked 90 hours. I had several crazy cases, had to remove several children from home and had to fly to North Dakota and back in one day (with a seven month old in my lap on the way back). My supervisor felt pretty bad for me and said that she would

hillary

2008-04-11T20:58:00.001-07:00

Life has been busy, busy, busy. My ankle was not broken, so that's good. Work is crazy. I worked like 55 hours this week. I don't have much to say, but it's been awhile since I wrote anything.I am going to vote for Hillary Clinton in the primary next month.

broken?

2008-03-09T16:17:00.000-07:00

So it turns out my ankle is probably broken. I broke it before and they think I have re-injured it. They gave me a giant boot brace to wear and I have to go the fracture clinic. The one great thing is my supportive husband.

Sicko

2008-03-06T16:04:00.000-08:00

I openly wept as I watched Michael Moore's Sicko. Mr. Moore explores that fact that we (the US) are the only western country without universal health care. Over 50 million Americans are without health insurance. Many die each year due to lack of treatment. Those of us who are insured have been made to fear universal health care. We worry that if the government runs our health care it will be

2008-02-28T12:58:00.000-08:00

Life is so ridiculous at times. I bought new shoes (Dankos clogs) for better arch support. The arch of my left foot has been hurting. So, I bought these shoes and they help; however, they are tall. Consequently, I have tripped a couple times. I usually catch myself, but today I didn't. I tripped, rolled my ankle and fell. And this was in front of not less than 14 of my coworkers enjoying their

2008-02-27T21:09:00.000-08:00

I'm in a weird mood again. Joel is on the floor playing with Ezra. Carter went to pick up Kat from school. Joel and I both love Ezra very much, but I think that Joel is much better at showing his affection. I hold myself back. I've never really been one to put myself out there with children. While growing up in the church it was sort of expected that girls would love to play with the babies, but

2008-02-25T21:20:00.000-08:00

I'm in a weird mood. I feel sappy and somewhat emotional. I was looking through photos and this one made me laugh. This was taken on our honeymoon. I really love Joel!

happy

2008-02-03T21:24:00.000-08:00

a long time ago i wrote a post on the meaning of happiness. i suggested that the word happy should be erased from the dictionary, because in my opinion it was nearly unattainable. i believed that peace was more attainable than happiness. upon reflection, i think that i have obtained that peace. things still get crazy, i get stressed and sometimes anxiety still creeps in; however my general

the post wedding depression of bridezilla

2007-10-07T00:04:00.000-07:00

We had a beautiful wedding! Nothing went wrong...except Bridezilla reared her ugly head. September 2 dawned lovely and beautiful. We truly could not have asked for a lovelier day. It all turned out the way I planned in my head. All except me. That's right friends...I became Bridezilla. This was not an immediate transition. No, it took a full weekend of events to bring the monster out in me.The

long ago journal post

2007-10-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

This is an entry I wrote in an old journal. I happened to run across it today when I was looking for a piece of paper.6/24/05I'm sitting in a psychologists' lobby for the next several hours. One of my kiddos is having a psychological evaluation and someone has to sit outside his office the whole time. I am the one that gets to have that pleasure.In the lobby there are the classic single color

2007-07-10T16:01:00.000-07:00

There are many things I could say about this number, but I am just going to let it speak for itself: Cost of the War in Iraq (JavaScript Error) To see more details, click here.